my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
