Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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