Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
