So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Can Purell be used as lube?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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