Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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