I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
