people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
