shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
