Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
