Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
