Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize