plz talk dirty to me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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