their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
