he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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