anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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