Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
