at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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