in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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