I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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