I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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