Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
