OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
