So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
