This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
