Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
