Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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