I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
