dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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