were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
