Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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