I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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