He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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