Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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