I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
