I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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