I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
