i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
