He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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