I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
