Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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