Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
