Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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