also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
