I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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