quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
