ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
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Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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