I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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