Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
