I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
this hospital has no fireball
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
