SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
there is glitter all over my balls
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