If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
