Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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