Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
