So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
