Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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