Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
